December 2011
operator: 911 emergency what seems to be the problem
me: ther... there's someones in the house
operator: who is in the house sir
me: .......C...ory........
operator: .......
me: please help me
8utts:
my dad came over and sneakily put some more...
2kawaii2care:
bollocks-captor:
I’ve lost control of my life
marry me
Me: How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Mum: He’s black Me: Mum: Me: Mum: Me: You look for fresh prints, but oh my God
me: i can't write oh my god halp
minibro: put ezio in there
ヽ(´ー`)ノ: do you ever then proceed to sit in your... →
ogremom:
do you ever then proceed to sit in your room and realize that after however many years of life you have experienced it has been made clear that nothing is going to present you with an opportunity for adventures so maybe you have to step up and BE what generates those adventures and for thirty…
squicktooquick:
askhannacross:
AGAIN
child: mom read me a bedtime story
me: okay dear ill read you a classic fairy tale that i used to love very much in the past
me: A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name! What will the name of this young man be?
me: thats a trick question by the way hes gonna be automatically named zoosmell pooplord only for it to get rejected. his real nameis john egbert
